Monday, May 23, 2011
This Double Standard Situation?
I have always wondered why it is okay for men to be promiscuous, yet when women act in a similar fashion it is socially unacceptable. It is okay for women to like sex and to participate in it when they want to. Why does she get the labels: "Ho, Slut, Whore...", when she does though? But, it is the men that are fueling this "double standard" by using these terms when referring to women in this way. And because our society is still ran by men, women are supposed to assume the role of domesticated house wife ALL the time. I think some men are stuck in the old-fashioned view point that a woman should be sexy and sensuous, but only behind closed doors and only for their significant other. I can attest to the fact that there are women out there who enjoy sex and, as long as it is done the right way(with protection, etc...), what is the big deal? I am a firm believer in the fact that we need to let people be who they want to be, and if a woman OR a man wants to sleep with multiple people (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone emotionally or physically) then that is who they are. Ladies, I have found there are double standards for men that need to be squashed too. The double standard that men are supposed to be the provider, for example. Women have equal opportunities to be in the workplace now so if the situation works better for a couple to have the man stay home and take care of the kids, then what is the problem? Some women would look at this as he is lazy or he is taking advantage of his wife/girlfriend by making her work. But if the woman stays home and the man goes to work, that is deemed socially acceptable. Our society needs to keep open eyes. We tend to "pigeon-hole" people into a category in our minds that we can accept and, by doing so, we prejudge others. No one has the right to assume that anyone is anything unless proven otherwise. Bringing it back to my point about the double standard: just because a woman likes sex does not make her a whore, and just because a man stays home while his wife works does not make him a lazy bum. In order for double standards to be erased, we need to erase the prejudgements we have created in our minds. The only way to do that is to keep an open one!
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I think we both know, some women are not suited to be full-time mothers. Some fathers are more apt parentally to care for their child than some mothers. Example, women who scream and hit their kids in public.... disrespectful to everyone around them. As well as, uncomfortable. If that woman wasnt a child inside herself, she would be able to rationalize with that child that the present behavior is unacceptable and to teach the child mild humility, not degredation in public. Not only does this embarrass the child, but everyone around is more than likely assuming the mother is ignorant and wants to call CPS. Catch someone on their bad day who sees this, and they may just follow you to the parking lot and take down your license plate number to give to CPS to find you. Its no joke.
ReplyDeleteAs for the double standard of women "behaving like men".... I, myself have noticed an emotional role-reversal in men and women due to the success of women making men feel the way a lot of us used to.... men are more insecure and moody towards women they care about these days. I live how i want to and if a man semotionally cares for me, but doesnt make the committment I desire within a respectable amount of time, I start opening my options back up. Women feel like they cant look good as they get older, where as men annoyingly look better with time. So options and honesty with all men im involved with is key to let everyone know where they stand. Then there are no surprises when one steps up to the plate, as the others get pushed aside abruptly. Theres no game there or name calling. But most of the derrogatory terms like ho or slut are said from men who are childish and angry, yet not seeing how their lack of action or severe prevelence of disrespect toward a woman was somehow the outcome of what they face at the moment. thus, the terms carry on because 90%of men are these days, insecure and immature. Apparently most men grew up in households where they were never told no or held accountable for their actions- positive reinforcements works for dogs and children.... also works on men in these situations.
I agree with a lot of what you said! I do admit that there are a lot of bad parents out there, unfortunately. That's why I felt such an erge to include the comment, "as long as being promiscuous isnt harming anyone emotionally or physically", and "as long as protection is used". It's sad that I had to include that because you would think that it is common knowledge... but like the examples you gave, there are those bad parents out there. I also liked what you said about the men in your relationships... being a strong woman these days means to constantly reevaluate whether the man/woman we are with is what we truly want/need in our lives. And I hate that men get better as they get older like wine but women tend to just prune up! lol But I have come to the realization that people, especially women, need to age gracefully--embracing every thing that comes with age. (while keeping yourself up of course). And if we could change the way we all think, referring to being open-minded, we probably wouldnt have double standards--we wouldnt even have A standard! We would accept everyone for who they are... imagine that world! If we could pass that along to children we know... what a place we would live in. People would respect each other. Small boys would grow up to be gentleman, and small girls would turn into strong ladies. Not to say that we always have to lay our napkins in our laps, and sit cross-legged but a lady in the sense where a woman has her life under control and doesnt necessarily need a man. Thank you for the comment--this has helped to think of further blog subjects! I can't wait to post;)
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