Believing I'm Beautiful, the hardest thing to do...

It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to take on: the task of convincing myself that I am a beautiful woman and taking into account when people say so. Confidence is something that I have struggled with over the years and finally one day I just said, "The hell with what other people think- I am a beautiful, strong, and sexy woman!" I was tired of the battle within myself everyday: telling myself I was pretty and then looking in the mirror and saying I was ugly. How horrible! I would never talk to my friends that way, so why am I talking to myself like this? After a six year bout of being put down by an umentionable person, I decided that I was going to free myself from the grips of low self-confidence. On New Year's Eve 2008/2009, I added the second tattoo to my collection of 7. This one was strategically placed on the back of my neck and it says in my own cursive(which I had to beg the tattooist to let me write it) "Beautiful". I put it on my neck so I always know that it is there, I don't always have to see it, but I know that it is there-- just like my beauty. Just because others don't always see it and I don't always see it, doesn't mean that I am not. Every woman is beautiful simply because she is a woman. We all need to embrace that. I believe in being forthright and honest with people, but it would do the world a little bit of good for us to tell the women we know that they are beautiful. If every girl grew up hearing this everyday, they would grow up to be strong, confident women. They would never allow a man to treat them badly because they would know they don't deserve it. Confidence goes a long way with women. When I have confidence I feel like I can conquer the world! And I can!

Have the Balls to Cheat, Please...

I know the title is a little misleading, but hear me out. I have a problem with cheating, but who doesn't right? Well, some people seem to think it is okay because they do it. I have never understood this though, because if I were no longer interested in the person I am with I would break up with them. I would really like some feed back on this because I don't understand. At the point where you realize that you want to have sex with another person, wouldn't you think that there must be something wrong with your current relationship? There has to be something lacking, something you aren't receiving from your current partner that you feel you have to get it somewhere else. If the cheater could just take a moment to think about this and tell their partner what it is, I am not feeling loved enough or the sex just isnt that good. I think that people should have the respect for their partner enough to be upfront about not being happy. Even if you don't want to tell them why you are leaving (that you want to have sex with someone else) at least just tell them straight up that it is over. I would rather have a guy tell me that it is over, instead of finding out later that he slept with someone else. I can deal with what is in front of my face, but not what is hidden from me. Is it that men/women are scared of that confrontation? They don't know how to say it? I am unsure. Or maybe people just want to have their cake and eat it too. Their current partner provides security or companionship, and they just want to have a physical encounter with another? I still don't agree with this because it is selfish. I am all for being comfortable with your sexuality, sleeping with whomever you deem fit. But, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone emotionally and physically. Unless someone can give me a valid point as to why I shouldn't think this way, and I am open-minded to suggestions, I stand firm on my view point: If you are going to sleep with someone besides your partner, have the balls to end it first.

A Pin-Up Girl's Workout

A pin-up girl's body is a beautiful thing. She is not too thin, her curves all fall in just the right places. Her body is the epitome of "WOMAN". After looking at numerous pin-up girl photos and thinking that I just wasn't dealt the cards to allow me to have this voluptuous figure, I got frustrated and wondered, "Well, why can't I have that?"



I, unfortunately, have a body where, if I gain weight, it doesn't necessarily go to the places that I would like. I think a lot of woman have this circumstance, so I decided to put together an exercise routine that is actually helping me to keep my curves where they belong, but still lose it where I want to the most. As with most women, my mid section is where I gain my weight. But, I also develop wonderful curves. I felt hopeless at the fact that I would lose my "lovely lady lumps" if lost any weight. With the help of a close friend of mine, we developed the following tricks...


I realized from previous exercise routines that if I just do cardio, I will lose the weight all over and, thus, lose my boobies and booty. I was sad at losing my "ladies", even to the point where I thought I would just keep myself this size- just to keep them! After some experimenting I figured out that I could still do cardio, while wearing a waist band. These lovely inventions are like a Neoprene material that you wrap around your mid-section, forcing you to sweat. This sweating where you designate trick allows you to focus on losing the weight there first, allowing you to sculpt the rest of your body to what you would like. So, I also picked up a work out DVD which helps to tone those targeted areas. It works out your arms, abs, but mostly concentrates on your Bootyeus Maximus. The next day, I found muscles that I never even knew existed on my body! After 2 days I can tell the difference in my hips and thighs. I told myself, "You're sexy now, but you are gonna be one sexy bitch soon!"

So here is my routine:

   30-45 mins cardio (I usually choose to dance or to take a walk)
   15-20 mins isolation/muscle strengthening (find in magazine/video that targets your buns)



I am still in the process of carrying this out, but I see results so far that I haven't seen with any other plan!

When Women Rule the World

I stumbled upon this quote this morning: "Women really do rule the world.  They just haven't figured it out yet.  When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble."  ~Doctor Leon.

Isn't it awesome? Well, it brought to mind the James Brown song, "This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothing without a woman..." It's almost as if we allow it to be a man's world for now, and eventually we will take the lead when it is necessary. Men and women are so different that we compliment each other. Men are usually the more logical, straight-forward, no non-sense types while women add in what I like to call the "spice in life". Women add emotion to the equation and therefore make it an interesting place. Imagine how boring the world would be without love and passion, for example. Our world would still get along just fine, it would just be boring. A man's world is a black and white painting, but once a woman enters his world, she splashes vibrant color all over it.

One concern I would have if women did "take over" would be the way women handle their emotions. Maybe why the world is in the state it is in, though, is because men do not exhibit enough emotion. So, if women did someday "rule the world" I would think that we would need to have a balance of the two sides.
The most perfect thing I see is when a woman can have the balance between logic and emotion. All too often women resort to their emotions for every reaction. We don't always have to be yelling and crying. I've realized that life is too short to take most things too seriously. Obviously there are things that are worth crying over, you can't help it. A death in the family, your husband is going to jail, you're being sued... But if we try to look at most things as if they are small, it is easier to handle. I was that person that was a victim to my emotions and I was crying one second and laughing histerically the next. It was driving me nuts! But we wouldn't want to do away with all emotion because, like I said, it is the "spice of life". So I like to pick and choose the qualities from both men AND women that I find admirable. For example, men have a good sense of emotion- in a sense that they are not too dramatic. They have a logical, more solid approach to things. Women have a sense of nurturing and caring, a love that can't be matched that they show to those they deem deserving. These are just examples of the balance between the greatest things about both men and women.

In a way what I am getting at is whether we are a man or a woman, we shouldn't let our emotions take control of us, and we shouldn't ignore them either... it is almost a life's pursuit to balance the two. The best of both worlds, so to speak. If whoever "rules the world" could learn this, I think the world would be in a better state overall.

No Need to Settle: You Deserve the Best!

It really hurts me when I see women that are in relationships that are not treating them right. It doesn't have to be that he is hitting you to be an abusive relationship. Even verbal and emotional abuse takes its toll. I speak from experience when I say that whatever "abuse" you are willing to accept now only gets worse. I made the dangerous mistake of thinking that it was just a punch to the arm, it really didn't hurt that bad. WRONG! At that moment, the first time, I saw my 2 paths laid out in front of me: I could leave now and lose the man I love, or stay and hope that he changes. Many women make the mistake of thinking that if they leave, especially if threatened, that he will harm them or their loved ones. I, too, heard that song. In my case, it may have been an empty threat, but it manipulated me to stay. But, believe me when I say that you CANNOT change a man that exhibits this type of behavior. I am spreading this message today because it was only at the end with his hands around my throat that I realized this had gone too far. All the years that I thought I was changing him suddenly fell in my lap. I saw that I had to get out- but it was realized almost too late. Verbal and emotional abuse, in some ways, can be even worse. Bruises heal, yet it took me a lot longer to get over all the webs of negative thoughts running around my brain. The longer you put up with abuse, the longer it takes to get over it. Some of you may read this and think that they don't need to take heed to this information. I do suggest keeping your eyes open for any signs of violence or manipulative behavior. Even if you just don't feel satisfied in your relationship, please do not ever feel that you have to settle. A strong woman would be happier alone than with someone who they feel is not meant for them- in any way. For those women who have wonderful partners in life, congratulations! Do whatever you can for that man, he deserves it. A good man is becoming a rarity these days and I do appreciate those men. In conclusion, women are so beautiful just because we ARE women that to "settle for anything less than what you want or deserve"(to quote my Momma) is just a shame. No one (man/woman/animal/plant) deserves to be abused in any way. Please seek help if you need to- don't wait another day!


1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224
http://www.thehotline.org/

This Double Standard Situation?

I have always wondered why it is okay for men to be promiscuous, yet when women act in a similar fashion it is socially unacceptable. It is okay for women to like sex and to participate in it when they want to. Why does she get the labels: "Ho, Slut, Whore...", when she does though? But, it is the men that are fueling this "double standard" by using these terms when referring to women in this way. And because our society is still ran by men, women are supposed to assume the role of domesticated house wife ALL the time. I think some men are stuck in the old-fashioned view point that a woman should be sexy and sensuous, but only behind closed doors and only for their significant other. I can attest to the fact that there are women out there who enjoy sex and, as long as it is done the right way(with protection, etc...), what is the big deal? I am a firm believer in the fact that we need to let people be who they want to be, and if a woman OR a man wants to sleep with multiple people (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone emotionally or physically) then that is who they are. Ladies, I have found there are double standards for men that need to be squashed too. The double standard that men are supposed to be the provider, for example. Women have equal opportunities to be in the workplace now so if the situation works better for a couple to have the man stay home and take care of the kids, then what is the problem? Some women would look at this as he is lazy or he is taking advantage of his wife/girlfriend by making her work. But if the woman stays home and the man goes to work, that is deemed socially acceptable. Our society needs to keep open eyes. We tend to "pigeon-hole" people into a category in our minds that we can accept and, by doing so, we prejudge others. No one has the right to assume that anyone is anything unless proven otherwise. Bringing it back to my point about the double standard: just because a woman likes sex does not make her a whore, and just because a man stays home while his wife works does not make him a lazy bum. In order for double standards to be erased, we need to erase the prejudgements we have created in our minds. The only way to do that is to keep an open one!

Why do women "hate" on other women?

All women have a beauty that cannot be matched by a man in any way. A woman's body is a work of art, and therefore we should embrace our curves and our soft skin. Women have a bond with each other that cannot be broken. You all know about the code I am referring to: when a girl tries to take your man, she is labeled a homewrecker and socially ostricized from the "clique". That is why we would, hopefully never, have sex with our best friend's man, or our sister's husband. Unlike the opposite sex, who are actually surprised that girls even have a code. Men don't seem to care so much about this "code" amongst themselves. Because we have this bond, it leads me to wonder why there is so much hatred between some women? It's happened to the best of us: You are at the mall and pleasantly shopping in your cute bordello heels and a matching cheetah print purse, when you see another woman pass you, so you greet her with a friendly smile. Yet, it is met with a head-to-toe disgusted look, instantly wiping the smile off your face. As a young girl I thought this meant that there was something wrong with me, or my outfit, and would instantly look down to see if there is something going on I don't know about. On the contrary, it actually means quite the opposite. A woman will react that way to you because, subconsciously, she thinks you are very beautiful. She actually likes what she sees. Maybe it is pride that won't allow her to just say, "I like your shoes", but I assume that it stems from some insecurity that she has. The need to "hate" on another woman because you feel she looks better than you could simply vanish if we all start to respect and admire the beauty in each other. Which is why I believe that if women would work on their self-confidence and limit the amount of insecurities they have, this interchange of expressions between girls wouldn't occur, thus making life a little more positive. Which is what we all strive for anyway, right?